Magnifying the Uncomfortable

The other day my husband, who has been having seasonal allergy problems this year, told me that he heard on the news that this year we are experiencing a “tsunami of pollen”.  In my interesting imagination, I thought of a disaster movie with an actual tsunami of pollen coming toward us all! What a calamity!!! Who would play the hero of the movie…the fighter of the pollen tsunami? Would it be Brad Pitt or some younger buff star?

Actually, I just laughed and told him that this was a classic cognitive distortion, or what we call here at NECBT, a Mental Mishap. The proper name for this is “Magnification”; making something much bigger than it is, or creating mountains out of molehills.  We do this so often with the words that we use. Think of how many times the weatherman said this past winter, “It is absolutely HORRIBLE out there!”.  Or, how many times a co-worker has said to you, “the traffic is TERRIBLE today!”.

How does this dramatic use of language help us? Do we use it to receive sympathy? Or do we use it because it seems true to us?  The first thing I want to explore is the definitions of horrible and terrible. Horrible and terrible have a similar definition: Very shocking and unpleasant. Is the weather or traffic very shocking?  The truth is that it may be unpleasant but it certainly is expected. The use of this language is just magnifying the uncomfortable.

The problem with magnifying what is uncomfortable is that the only thing it does is cause us to feel worse about the normal frustrations of every day life. It doesn’t make us feel better. When we use magnifying words, it clouds our thinking which in turn clouds how we feel. Changing the way we use our words can change the way we feel. Or, as we teach patients, the words we use shape our perception of reality and how we deal with our reality. If we come to work feeling really grumpy because the traffic was “horrible”, how is that going to impact the rest of our day? If instead we came to work acknowledging that some days the traffic is worse than others (a rational thought), we will get on with our work with a healthier outlook and in turn feel calm.

Try to be more aware of your own magnification. As for the pollen tsunami, let’s call it what it is….Spring!

Bonnie Lillis, LPC

Clinical Director, NECBT